I wanna feel it

Well yeah, i just wanna feel it.

Tonight i was supposed to do nothing

yet i'm going out.

let's rock the house, will we?

Let's do it like we do.

Power

Everything comes with a price.

Coming to life means 9 months of pain,

Getting to know yourself means time and reflexion,

Freedom means fighting

a Good time means cash,

But Heck, when that bitch wants more, we can't escape from it.

I'm sick of it

sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick .

Fucking sick.

I hate it,

the fact that we all have our own drugs.

Smokes, alcohol, lust, or power.

He chose power.

I took lust.

Lust, smokes, alcohol, freedom

and he wants his power back.

But he already had it

since the beginning.

Money, that's his first power,

but he wants to have a complete control of his blood.

He did the same with the older one.

He failed, but left a good, deep wound, on everyone.

Now he's starting again, on the younger one.

Who suffered enoug for 3 long years.

Where he could only count the time left till he had a little satisfaction.

Summer.

He may be out of his hands reach, but not of his money.

This is disgusting.

How he can enjoy it.

I know i ain't a saint, and i'm far from it:

Manipulating, controlling, lying, trashing, beating.

but there are no such things as karma.

For a moment i could feel that i was following what i always wanted:

Riding my own flow of life, on the road based on my guts.

And I did.

Now i have to wait again.

6 years i've being waiting for him.

Months for her.

weeks for this Bloody sensation of a fucking live performance.

Now i'm going to miss em.

I may miss him too.

But i know that i won't miss her.

But i will in an other way.

And now the other parents is playing with it.

Emotional blackmail.

I just hope that good times gonna come, and fast.

Figures around me are also suffering. And i find that Pathetic.

Sometimes i just wished i could be in face of 'em

And smack them good.

Yet i'm the same.

We're all the fucking same.

And sometimes i wished i didn't had all those needs.

This is clearly seen:

My left hand is destroyed. My eyes are burning. My throat is broken.

and i just keep on hating .

The Situation, the reaction, the choices, myself.

I just want to fuck the whole thing up, radical.

But i won't.

and again, the same, usefull word:

Fuck

_____________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

...Jesus, how fucked up could this get. I just can't fucking get anymore. Bac, bac bac bac, are those the only three simple fucking letters that they can say to me? we're not in the same era, it's quality dropped! and fuck, is till don't knowto do about my fucking life. and Fuck, i hate when people are down for nothing. Thankfully i'moutside their reach, otherwise i would just beat the cra out of them.

Fuck

fuck

FUCK

... Being 18 doesn't change anything.

oh wait!

it does!

IT MAKES THINGS WORSE!

damn it, i'm sick of it.

I deserve it! I was the one being stuck with him for 3 whole years! i don't care if it's my final high school year, it's just the bac! Just because they're afraid i might fail it? I mean, how lame can you be?

I never said it

No, never said

You're suffocating

Suffocating

Fuck it.

i'm waiting...

Montpellier, direction to the "Gare St-Roch"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

So i'm just waiting,

For the end of Febuary,

when this fucked up shit will come to end,

or if a big one will start.

It may be the biggest mistake of my life

yet i just don't want for it to go lie HE planned.

After all, he knows that i just can't.

It's not a choice,

just a sickness,

a real one.

and after that, there will be April. The long awaited time. Man... this is so horrible, this waiting is killing me. It's not always like that, but right here, right now, it is. Feeling this freedom again, just like those famous 13 days.

Small amount of cash,

A simple backpack for my stuffs,

My feet to walk,

My hips to dance,

My ears to blast my brains,

my hands for this need of violence or luxury, or holding a simple cigaret

My eyes to stare at our world's roof.

Skies Of Desire

simple name

Such a way to live

Hedonisme, riding your own flow

Friends

Booze

Music

Sex

and most of all, being away of everything

Just being free,

With him, with them, with her.

With myself.

It's gettin' late but we don"t give a shit about it

All the crazy shit i did tonight

Those will be the best memories

I just wanna let it go for the night

That would be the best ever be for me

All the crazy shit i did tonight

Those will be the best memories

I just wanna let it go for the night

That would be the best ever be for me

hey,hey

yeah,yeah (x5)

All the crazy shit i did tonight

Those will be the best memories

I just wanna let it go for the night

That would be the best ever be for me

All the crazy shit i did tonight

Those will be the best memories

I just wanna let it go for the night

That would be the best ever be for me

hey,hey

yeah,yeah (x5)

It’s getting late but I don’t mind (x8)

hey,hey

yeah,yeah (x5)

Memories- david Guetta n Kid Cudi

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Yesterday was Friday. As usual, i had to go to High school, and survive boredom. the only thing i like in this day, is the morning itself: PE. And we play basket ball. Man i love that sport. I'm not that good in it, but what i love is this dynamic explosion of energy that i feel... when i played street style. We're only two guys for like 5 teams of chicks. And boy, my teams sucks. Whenever we're against the other with team who has the other guys, i'm the only one running. because that guy is a sport monster. yet himself tells me that it's fun laying against me, because i do have lots of endurance and i'm kind of a brute at basket. It's funnier on a one on one.

yet anyways, this day has too much of science. Like always, when we have the 20 break between maths and the 4h of lab doom ( 2h bio lab and 2h physics and chemistry lab ), i went outside alone for a smoke. Thisis the best part of the day.

yet anyways the bell rang, and i went straight home to relax.

Then what happened?

Got in touch with a friend named Tiphaine. We never saw each other much, but we did have a good times together during summer, with alan n stuff. Actualy, we never saw each other after summer until my birthday, and it was real fun seeing him again. So yesterday night, we went outside to the movies. during the way, we talked a lot. You see that guy is straight, but if feels something for my brother. yet, during my party, we banged a chick, and started going steady with her. i'm not going futher into details, but speaking with him made me feel close to him again.

What did we saw? The book of Eli. This movie is good. Nothing special, not boring at all. but god... the images are fucking pretty. I mean, how the made the sky was awesome. if you have to see a movie, go see that one.

Oh well, had nothing in particular to say..; exept maybe i have a girlfriend? not for too long I hope, besides..; she's virgin. let's see how far can i go with her ;)

Skies of Desire

I know, I know for sure

That life is beautiful around the world

I know I know it's you

You say, "Hello" and then I say, "I do"

simple moments of Joy,

can become real moment of pure happiness

___________________________________________________________________

Today? woke up at 6pm, and i did NOTHING out of it.

And we talked about this trip, this escapade that i will realize in April. You, me, Belgium, Bloody Beetroots gig, livin in a studio, how me may enjoy it, while knowing perfectly that we will improvise, how to impress those little students how act like grown ups, while we know that what's the best in life is being young. And, of course, how those nights we began to have for a while will become true.

When those nights, where our thoughts are lost in this tormented air corrupted by our smokes, when the only connection that we have is this sky, or what i named, the "Skies of Desire"

April may be far from now, yet it's better than a year.

let's just hope that it will go on well, and i truly believe that it will be a blast.

Sharing and earning

this i what those nights are for me

because not everybody can become Strong bonds,

not everyone can enjoy simple moments to its max,

because we both admire each other,

because we both enjoy sharing moments

Because we're connected

and i believe in this

so, good night, and let's just wait

From the Fucking psycho Bastard

to a Lil Punkass

____________________________________________________________________

I'm the son of Rage and Love,

Jesus of Suburbia

______________________________________________________________

" How can you do that?

- Oh fuck it! How? Why? What for? When? Whom? Can't you do something else than asking questions?

- This is not possible! How can you survive theses gunshots? How can you manage to kill this army troop? You even brang down a fucking fighter!

- Questiooooooooooooooooooooooooooons for fuck sake, stop!

- How can you want me to stop? I'm the only one that you didn't killed in this bloodshed? How can i understand?

- This is your problem sir, you loose your time asking yourself questions! Don't ask! ACT! Think: STOP THINKING! Just do!DO!

- just by willpower you did this?

- ah! very good question indeed...

-so?

- I don't know how, i just did. Goodbye and say hello to my hands!"

Snow

This song,

it has been such a long time since i last heard it,

and this song is attached to so many memories.

You know, when i first arrived in Montpellier, i was feeling complet.

yet, it's been some time since i miss this feeling. You guys heard me tall a lot about Strong Bonds, how this is a special relationship, how shana became one even though she is the first to become one without living in the same city, how having a strong bond is important to me. For some people it's love, for me it's Strong bonds. Shana is the one right now, and i'm truly happy about this.

yet, it doesn't feels the same.

Actualy, it has never been the same since the first one.

each one was special.

each one taught me something.

each one made me live in a special way.

The first one was really that special,

the first one was my air.

It was about saving the day, not the life.

Futur had no place in our minds.

it was all about living the moment.

This is why, i miss those moments.

I miss where my craziness, my dynamic had it's pair.

Where just two guys,

Two budds

Fucking right

had their time:

"To run, to run away

To find what you believe
And I leave behind
This hurricane of fucking lies"

This is one quote he used to say a lot. he didn't wrote this, it's from green day. but somehow, comming from his mouth, you could feel the true meanings of it.

So this song, Snow, as long as boulevard of broken dreams, and jesus of suburbia, as all tied into my memories with him.

So, let's ride into the machine, and ride our own way.

_________________________________________________________________

Why fucking deny it? You're all pawns. you're all toys. you're all fucking lies. Admit it, you don't have the guts to make something out of yourself. Pathetic! Living to blame those who achieve of making something out of their fucking human corps. Living but not breathing, that's what you're doing. Now, when you see me, run, before i consume you into my road, my own road towards what i aim... yes, fucking run, this is going to be fun to hunt you down

same novel as before

He Had it Comming

[LIZ]

Pop!

[ANNIE]

Six!

[JUNE]

Squish!

[HUNYAK]

Uh Uh (squeezing necklace)

[VELMA]

Cicero (Smoke puffs)

[MONA]

Lipschitz!

[LIZ]

Pop!

[ANNIE]

Six!

[JUNE]

Squish!

[HUNYAK]

Uh Uh (squeezing necklace)

[VELMA]

Cicero (smoke puffs)

[MONA]

Lipschitz!

[LIZ]

Pop!

[ANNIE]

Six!

[JUNE]

Squish!

[HUNYAK]

Uh Uh (squeezing necklace)

[VELMA]

Cicero (smoke puffs)

[MONA]

Lipschitz!

[LIZ]

Pop!

[ANNIE]

Six!

[JUNE]

Squish!

[HUNYAK]

Uh Uh (squeezing necklace)

[VELMA]

Cicero (smoke puffs)

[MONA]

Lipschitz!

[LIZ]

Pop!

[ANNIE]

Six!

[JUNE]

Squish!

[HUNYAK]

Uh Uh (squeezing necklace)

[VELMA]

Cicero (smoke puffs)

[MONA]

Lipschitz!

[ALL]

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

[VELMA]

I betcha you would have done the same!

[LIZ]

Pop!

[ANNIE]

Six!

[JUNE]

Squish!

[HUNYAK]

Uh Uh (squeezing necklace

[VELMA]

Cicero (smoke puffs)

[MONA]

Lipschitz!

[LIZ (Spoken)]
You know how people
have these little habits
That get you down. Like Bernie.
Bernie like to chew gum.
No, not chew. POP.
So I came home this one day
And I am really irritated, and I'm
looking for a bit of sympathy
and there's Bernie layin'
on the couch, drinkin' a beer
and chewin'. No, not chewin'.
Poppin'. So, I said to him,
I said, "you pop that
gum one more time..."
and he did.
So I took the shotgun off the wall
and I fired two warning shots...
...into his head.

[GIRLS]

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have heard it

I betcha you would

Have done the same!

[ANNIE (Spoken)]
I met Ezekiel Young from
Salt Lake city about two years ago
and he told me he was single
and we hit it off right away.
So, we started living together.
He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd
fix him a drink, We'd have dinner.
And then I found out,
"Single" he told me?
Single, my ass. Not only
was he married
...oh, no, he had six wives.
One of those Mormons, you know. So that
night, when he came home, I fixed him
his drink as usual.
You know, some guys just can't hold
their arsenic.

[LIZ,ANNIE,JUNE,MONA]

Hah! He had it coming

He had it coming

He took a flower

In its prime

And then he used it

And he abused it

It was a murder

But not a crime!

[VELMA AND HUNYAK]

Pop, six, squish, uh-uh

Cicero, Lipschitz

[JUNE (Spoken)]
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
carvin' up the chicken for dinner,
minding my own business,
and in storms my husband Wilbur,
in a jealous rage.
"You been screwin' the milkman,"
he says. He was crazy
and he kept screamin',
"you been screwin the milkman."
And then he ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife ten times.."

[ALL]

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!

[HUNYAK (Spoken)]
Mit keresek, �n itt? Azt mondj�k,
hogy a h�res lakem lefogta a f�rjemet �n meg
lecsaptam a fej�t. De nem igaz, �n �rtatlan
vagyok. Nem tudom mi�rt mondja
Uncle Sam, hogy �n tettem. Prob�ltam
a rend�rs�gen megmagyar�zni de nem �rtett�k meg...

[JUNE (Spoken)]
Yeah, but did you do it?

[HUNYAK]
UH UH, not guilty!

[VELMA]
My sister, Veronica and
I had this double act
and my husband, Charlie,
traveled around with us.
Now, for the last number in
our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks
one two three four,five...splits, spread eagles,
back flips,flip flops,
one right after the other.
Well, this one night we were in the hotel Cicero,
the three of us,
boozin' and
havin' a few laughs
when we run out of ice.
So I went out to get some.
I come back, open the door
and there's Veronica and
Charlie doing Number Seventeen-
the spread eagle.

Well, I was in such a state of shock,
I completely blacked out.I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later,
when I was washing the blood off my hands
I even knew they were dead.

They had it coming

They had it coming

They had it coming all along

I didn't do it

But if I'd done it

How could you tell me that I was wrong?

[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They had it coming

[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They had it coming

[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They took a flower

[VELMA]

All along

[GIRLS]

In its prime

[VELMA]

I didn't do it

[GIRLS]

And then they used it

[VELMA]

But if I'd done it

[GIRLS]

And they abused it

[VELMA]

How could you tell me

[GIRLS]

It was a murder

[VELMA]

That I was wrong?

[GIRLS]

But not a crime!

[MONA]
I loved Alvin Lipschitz
more than I can possibly say.
He was a real artistic guy...
sensitive... a painter.
But
He was always trying
to find himself.
He'd go out every night
looking for himself
and on the way
he found Ruth,
Gladys,
Rosemary and Irving.
I guess you can say we broke
up because of artistic differences.
He saw himself as alive
and I saw him dead.

[ALL]

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

[LIZ,ANNIE,MONA]

They had it comin'

[VELMA,JUNE,HUNYAK]

They had it comin'

[LIZ,ANNIE,MONA]

They had it comin'

[VELMA,JUNE,HUNYAK]

They had it comin'

[LIZ,ANNIE,MONA]

They had it comin'

[VELMA,JUNE,HUNYAK]

They had it comin'

[LIZ,ANNIE,MONA]

All along

[VELMA,JUNE,HUNYAK]

All along

'Cause if they used us

'Cause if they used us And they abused us

And they abused us

[LIZ,ANNIE,MONA]

How could you tell us

[VELMA,JUNE,HUNYAK]

How could you tell us That we were wrong?

That we were wrong?

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had

Himself

To blame.

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha

You would

Have done

The same!

[LIZ (Spoken)]

You pop that gum one more time!

[ANNIE (spoken)]

Single my ass.

[JUNE (Spoken)]

Ten times!

[HUNYAK (Spoken)]

Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe.

[VELMA (Spoken)]

Number seventeen-the spread eagle.

[MONA (Spoken)]

Artistic differences.

[LIZ]

Pop!

[ANNIE]

Six!

[JUNE]

Squish!

[HUNYAK]

Uh Uh (squeezing necklace)

[VELMA]

Cicero (smoke puffs)

[MONA]

Lipschitz!

Cell Block Tango Chicago

_________________________________________________________________

This movie, Chicago, is full of pure... how can i say? awesomness? The dances are strong! the images remarquable, and the voices violent. The cell block tango is by far my favorite scene, specialy when Velma start singing with her strong voice "They had it comming". Just look at the scene, it's..wow.

So, i'm still sick, i'm hungry, yet there's nothing to eat for breakfast ( who gives a crap about that? ). and yesterday night, i couldn't sleep. No special reasons there, i just slept the whole day, so i couldn't find energy to sleep . So then i watched Chicago with my brother, who just came back from is actin courses. And boy, we enjoyed watching this movie again. WE watched it cause we can't wait to see "Nine", the new movie made by the director of "Moulin Rouge" Only stronger, prettier, more shocking. Well yeah, we love music, dances and most important of all, image beauty. Then i got a message from someone i know really well:

Angie : Frangin, je t'aime.

Kind of used of women's needs to express their love, i texted her back. I do love her as my sister, really, so i took the oppoturnity to awnser it expressing my love, saying how much i couldn't wait till i visit Avignon. But then, later i realised how much:

By pure curiosity, i went to see some blogs. Of course i started by reading mine again, because this is reason why i write it: to see what i was feeling at that moment. Then, i went to see Shana's, there's always a good thing to see there. But then, when i saw in my blogger updates that she wrote something new.

And by reading, a stupid smile tainted my sick figure.

First thing i did? text her about it.And boy, i just really can't wait to see her back. Angie, my "sister", you did a good move. Your brother had a stupid smile all night long.

Avignon, here i come! ( when the opportunity comes of course ...)

___________________________________________________________________________

"But... i thought you loved me?

-Yeah well you see, man can love many things

-Many?

-...You're shocked by the word 'Many'?

Oh Boy we have to teach you everything

- What's wrong?

- You, are just things, stuff, objects!

This is what you should have been shocked.

We man may be caracterised by the toys in the society,

But the truth is, the toys are you.

-...What the hell is wrong with you?

- Nothing, what is wrong, is you. You are being toyed by mens

We enjoy playing with you.

Meetin'

Seducin'

Bangin'

Hidin'

Discoverin'

Toyin'

You women, when you find us betraying you, you just cry,

But, with lies, you trust us,

Toys,

This is what you are"

Extract from my novel

Suffocating Sighto

Air is my fuel,

My body is the engine,

I'm just missing some screws

Sometimes, you realise that you just kept talking to thin air. People won't always get what you say, what you feel, what your beliefs are. I never ask for someone to share the same thoughts, we all have our own, may they change or stay the same. But to make a fake interpretation about someone when he tried to explain the opposite, this kind of sucks.

I always knew that finding people who can get not only my language, but my beliefs, would be hard. Since the begining, i never had difficulties to make friends, yet in general they were always friends to have fun with. That never bothered me, but we always want more right? We want to feel complete. Some think they will acheive this feeling by love, i choosed another path: The Strong Bonds.

I could describe the Strong Bonds like true love, but it ain't like it. It's a undescrible word.I even believe that Strong bonds, for me, is stronger than love,

Now this was a test,

What did you felt when you readed those simple words? THis is the point where a lot of minds lose their way in trying to understand my mind. You could believe that i don't "love love". But I do, yet i'm bothering with this kind of stuffs right now. because people get always mixed up with love. I may say I love you to some people, but this is not my love. Sometimes it's a lie, like we always do to get laid with stupid teenager, or try to get something from them. Sometime it's true, but it ain't like the real deffinition of love. I already felt love, and trust me, i never joke about it. But i never did say that it doesn't change, and IT DOES. This is why i'm not really interested in what i call a relationship. it's real hard to find someone firstly that fits, and can manage change. This is also why i avoid now to go out with too-emotional chicks, they only bring you trouble, at least for a guy like me.

Yet i do want to find the one person, one that makes me truly feel good, euphoric even...

Right now, let's just say that i'm searching for it, for I am not in a hurry. It's not like that i'm breathing wihtout air, and it's not because i'm unhappy ( which is completly not the case ). Yet sometimes, when this needs comes, it's hard to breath. I'm not choking, yet...

Anyways, yersteday I Became a man... and i didn't expet to get drunk that much . I'm stuck on my bed right now, with my throat completly destroyed, and my head exploding. But it was a fucking good night, and i can't wait till this Friday.

______________________________________________________________________________

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

Can't live, can't breathe with no air

It's how I feel whenever you ain't there

It's no air, no air

Got me out here in the water so deep

Tell me how you gonna be without me

If you ain't here, I just can't breathe

It's no air, no air

Glee cast- No air

Come as you are

Little Psycho Bastard

evolved into

Psycho Bastard

A new Step, a new Story,

A new life,

Full of shit, full of glee,

But who gives a shit, let's enjoy the show

____________________________________________________

Tonight,

I became eighteen. This was a huge step. I thought that the night where i changed would be awesome, yet it snowed, so all plans had to be canceled. My brother went to see some friends, and i stayed at home. Actually, it was best that i stayed, because this night became a symbol for me.

Cooked, cleaned, loud music, a good time.

Some friendly chats, so time reading my comics, a time where i was cooled down.

Yet, when we started taling seriously, it was midnight. It's official, i'm an adult. to celebrate that, a smoke. and then we talked, we danced, we laughted. I made a new line of jokes, and boy that felt good.

then, when I talked about the NE THING that makes me cry, i cryed. I thought to myself that i wouldn't, yet it's still the one thing, and not for naught. But that felt good. I even shared the best musics, that even that i don't listen ofently, are the ones.

Thanks for being here,

it's official,

you're my Strong Bond.

Thanks, Shana

___________________________________________

so then, here i share with you tonight the song that i realised that is worth knowing. You all know Nirvana, and i know how purists are. Yet listen, listen and enter into the cosmos that the best artist ever created with his best skill: his voice. he's not that knowed internationaly, but he's worth knowing.

Come as you are, as you were,

As I want you to be

As a friend, as a friend, as an old enemy

Take your time, hurry up

Choice is yours, don't be late

Take a rest as a friend as an old memory.

Memori-a

Memori-a.

Memori-a.

Come dowsed in mud, soaked in bleach

As I want you to be

As a trend, as a friend, as an old memory.

Memori-a

Memori-a

Memori-a

With that, i say to you all good night.

See you again,

The fucked up bastard