seriously, things are going quite great around here. it could be better, but that's just normal, it's never good enough! but hey, long story short, in april, i'm going to see... The BLOODY BEETROOTS!
FUCK MAN? THE BLOODY FUCKING BEETROOTS! and boy, this is so going to be awesme. And yu know what's the god part? I'll have the oportunity to see Mickael, Shana and Morgan.
But fuck man, i know i use the word FUCK too ofently, but hey, it's a fucking good wrd! and besides, i'm completly wasted, so this post is atualy from the depth f my heart
But boy. All the parties i've had so far in my life, and i went to some where the word wicked isn't strong enugh, will be nothing to this night! Friday 2nd of April, the bloody beetroots. I promise myself that it would be the best night of my life.
Anyways, recently a lot of people are getting up into my nose, with their lame attitudes and stuffs. Boy, i hate those who whine worthlessly upon their lives. Not all of course are targetted, some just need sme direction, for a real direction for its soul. But what i'm aiming, is those whose reason is just... argh fuckin useless! there's a lot of people that i once knew, and loved, whom i just want to have the satisfaction to destroy. and boy, can't wait for that day.
But i don't think they're reading this, so... BLEH
anyways, new year's eve was fuckinastic. Booze, music, and lotof fun. I' kind of aiming parties with a lower intensity recently, cause its cheaper x).
I'm in Perpignan, and i'm with my gran parents. And gosh it's boring here, i even started to draw again. It'sbeen a long time actualy, but I guess thqt's because i had other things to do. One thing for sure... is that I miss smoking.
I may sound like an Addict, and I guess i am, but smoking for me is not only an activity, it's a fucking pleasure. Put your bloody music loud enough to blast your ears, grab a smoke, stare at the sky, r anything, or nothing, and most important step : Think about that : STOP FUCKING THINKING!
Seriously, we almost never stop thinking, abut everything and nothing, and that's a real consuming action. You cause yourself useless stress, and that's not what I need. That's why, i love soking, and i'm nt ashamed of it. One thing i hate though, is when i start smoking, many people change their point f view abut me:
" Wait... you smoke?
- No i'm holding a fucking cigaret just t feel my finger burn
- Ew! i didn't knew that you smoke, that's gross!"
But who gives a SHIT about what yu think? I won't say that you don't have any life issue or anything, i know by experience taht we ALL have, even if some just like to hide them, and some to be emo about it. But that's just how i relax myself.
You, reader, did you already felt this way? When gazing a this amazing sky that is our world's roof, why your music, may it be exlosiv, the kind that makes not only yur body, but your mind move, or cool and sft stuff, and when you smoke, DID you ever felt this amazing Shallowness, or should I say, this Drunkin' emptyness? It's just like Shana said, this cosmic feeling that we have. You haven't? then For FUCK sake, STFU.
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Anywho, since i'm at my GP, and i'm soooo bored, I go to bed at fucking eight. Yes, I'm THAT bored. and since i'm used to sleep just a lil bit, i wake up at midnight. but Yesterday, i could sleep again, and I had this weird dream. It ust have happened since i didn't stop thinking about what should I do and stuffs like that. Okay here goes...:
I was in Paris, and i remember having an awesome Bloody beetroots jacket (y). But yeah, i was with my first bro ever: Mickael ( or Michel in frenchsawie, but we prefer calling him Mickael ) and his bud, a new bro of mine, jason. And weirdly, i was with Johanna, a friend from MTPL, Sami, and Shana. And we had just a party like we always do my bros and I: FUCKING LOUD. it's like having a rave party, with less than 10 people, and believe me, it always end up pretty bad :D. in that dream, if was a very realistic party, which is quite rare. Chicha, alcohol ( and lots of it ) drugs ( good ol' weed ) and gosh FUCKING LOUD MUSIC. I sure that could come true.
and now, like always, a music video for ya ;)
anyways, the night before going to Perpignan, i spent anther late night on msn with Shana. This time, we had our mics, and we could hear each other. Gosh at first, its was lame, since our sounds had some lapses, but then, it kinda cooled down. This night, i realized how this girl was special. No this is not a " omfg i love her soooo much kya" thingie, and i'm not in love with her. She's just someone that i feel good with, even if it's just by a cpu. You know, i had this kind of feeling thrice on my life. First time? The legendary Karel. I mean, we could talk about anything and nothing! and he learned me so much about my own life, he really was my mentor. second? my bff, Alan. He's kind of s lunatic, but he's awesome. next one was Rebecca, a special chick which we share a special bond, and i sure hope she can have her diploma of psychology back in the USA. And now, i have those same, not feelings, but, how can i put this into words... This BOND i have with her. Somehow, it feels natural t speak with her. We had our own lives, we "knew" each other from a long time, but since we started to know each other better, i realise how she is just like me. One thing that i found funny, is the fact that she speaks about being a humanoid, because we human sure screw ourselves up with those feelings. And that's just how i felt before knowing people like karel. So, somehow, i want to share things with her, it feels just natural.
So yeah, Shana, i know you're going to read this, so keep in mind that this fucked up Crow is here ;)
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When I'm bangin' on my bongo
All that swing belongs to me
I'm so happy there's nobody
In my place instead of me
I'm a king whithout a crown
Hangin' loose in the big town
& I'm born to rock
I'M BORN TO POGO
King of Bongo- Mano negra
such a special song for me. oh fuck this, let's put a second video in here:
For the First time in a while, i did absolutly nothing of my day, and you know what? that was relaxing. I mean, what did i fuckin did today? I didn't even slept, i had a shower, i smoke, i didn't even had a bite, drank some coke, watched the sky with my music, had some roof free-run with my Bloody beetroots music, and i just layed down for a good couple of hours in front of my cpu. Nothing interesting heh? That's the stuff! It was cool, calm, blank... no pressures, no worries! How long were i carving for moments like this? Too long, too fuckin long.
even if i could make anybody appear in front of me just to pass some time with him, i wouldn't have done it, because this moment was special to me...
I remember those nights in kuwait, where Karel took me for a midnight stroll, and gosh, sometime all we did was walking, not even speaking! and those moments were lessons for me. it made me learn how to keep myself up, how to straighten up myself. Have a good time by yourself, and you'll see where your issues are.
and gosh, i don't know why, but i'm listening to many types of music right now x). May it be Bloody Beetroots, Bloom 06 ( Eiffel 65 ), Gnarls Barkley, Muse, Mattafix, Little Boots, Pendulum. I'm just a music addict.
Okay, so yesterday ( or today, u'll see why ) was x-mas, or fuckin-mas like i like to call it, and well, some things happened during that day. First of all, my mom went to London, leave me and my brother breath ( or should i say smoke in da house ) for a while. Then, pamina went home. we spent nice 8 days together, that was surely fun, but the rain kinda destroyed all. I had huge plans, and we had to burst our asses off to find something to do. But yeah, it was still a good time together, and i appreciated that. Then we had our lil' party for fuckin-mas. it was more a gathering of all the losers in Montpellier that couldn't go see their parents. yet we had some good time together. we laughted hard and enjoyed our meal till 2h30.
Then the weird night started.
as i went to use the CPU before sleeping, even tough i wasn't tired at all, i started chatting with someone i like to call... Lil Punkass.
for those that doesn't know, her real name is actually Shana. and boy, we did talk a lot. Serious thread, futiles one, just watching each other smoke. yeah, It WAS weird, but i enjoyed this time :), i mean, it's not everytime you spend a whole night speaking to someone who living in thousand of miles from you.
Oh well, that was my little message for my lil Punkass ;)
you totally rock there (y)
I just hope that we will be able to realise what we talked about, that really heated me up and made me anxious of going there .
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and ofc, no blog entries without a music ;) here's a good one for your guys
Keep da Punk spirit up! and while yer doing so, i'm gonna grab a smoke.... oh and yeah, do not forget the Skies of Desire ;)
This is kind of amazing, how a simple song can ease your mind. For a long time, and i can recall when was the last time, my mind is cool. It's just like watching clouds pass by, it's a cure. Just like all the pressure, all the remarks that stained this long lost ease just vanishes.
That song, is recknoner, sang by Gnarls Barkley. It's actualy a cover song, originaly written by Radiohead. Cee-lo is just amazing in it, his voice is fucking perfect for it.
THis feeling is comming back
This ease
This shallowness
this emptyness that for a long time i knew too much
I suffered a long time from it, yet this time, i know that it doesn't matter. 24hours till now, and she will be here, and that, is what matter.
No piece, no artifices can beat that.
even though i love to be alone, in my confortable surf short, and smoke while listening to this tune.
Here In The Open Space Where Something Seems To Float And Not Fall I Can Feel The Madness Slow Down I'm The Master Of Time Back In Time, In The Time, All The Time Up And Down, Everytime I'm Flying Back In Time, In The Time, One More Time Always Up And Down, Everytime I'm Flying High
Lately, i had the most crazy weeks of my life. One was greatly spent getting to know better my new Friends: Jeremy, Guilllaume, Quentin, Sophie, Safaa and Amina. I kinda get along with the smokers of the class ( 3 in total ) and the Maghreb group, girls only club. I feel really close to Safaa, who pretty awesome in her way. Cool, funny, pretty, life curious, we get along pretty well. Jeremy is more the fun, yet can be really
serious kind of guy. Seriously, i had to go pee 3 times in a day because of him, even the legendary Bader couldn't do this much. Guillaume is in a Rock band, which kicks asses, and sophie's special in her own way. These are the one i made at High School. Kinda satisfied with those.
Yet, the best time i can have is with those i met Outside lessons. Adrien for example, he's really cool. we smoke alot together, just by getting a beer we can have the most craziest nights. Once i called him to ge a beer, and we endend up in a Rave party, or Free party like it's called around here. Tried the most weird things out there, but it's the best experience of life i've ever had. Next time i'll try it hardcore style. he is my Firestaff master too ;)
Then comes Johanna. Gosh, we met by pure luck, and i feel like she's a sister to me. it's too bad we can get to see each other alot, but she's really special. I thinks it's the only person on earth i know who's more perverted than me and she doesn't hide it.
Parties, loud music, crazy moments. Gosh, this life in Montpellier truly kick asses.
....until HE called.
The thing, the one thing as is my father. Gosh, why? why does he want me to go back in Kuwait? i'm already settle here! the 4 hours we spent on phone, i never felt that much violence stacking up in me, i had to ex
plose. I blasted my hands on the wall, and it bleeded like a river. Yet, there was more tear than blood. Fuck, that was uncalled for...
but thankfuly, i arranged myslef to that i have one last chance, until Febuary...
Yesterday, while i was talking to a interesting friend of mine, Shana, i realised how much i missed a truly good friend of mine. He kinda built me who i am today. That's right, his name is Karel. I usualy quote a thing or two i did with him or what he said, but never got the chance to speak about him. He kind is the one who lit up my inspiration for my stories. We wrote together a novel called "Elibe", we did everything togather. Gosh, those were good days, where he tried to speak in french. He had this weird habit to make a song with every insult he knew when he can't speak in french anymore. This guy, was a god to me. He had this air or freedom, he wasn't bound to ANYTHING. everytime i felt a little down, he came to pick me up at midnight and we used to walk down by the Marina beach, and we laughted, run, smoked, listen to music, and do alot, but a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot of pranks. Gosh i miss him, i sure wish i could be called again "Little Psycho Bastard" ( yeah, i was little in front of him, he was like 1m89 ). I wish we could cross our ways again...
And tomorow, at 00:00, Pamina arrives in Montpellier. This is going to be awesome.
so yeah, here we go on. Litin' up a smoke, putin' up some electro music, laying down on my bed, and waiting.
so yeah, listen to the Bloody Beetroots, there're kind of my fav' band right now ;). There tunes are the thing thqt move my mind, and scrambles my brainz. Trust me, if you listen to them loud enough, you'll be in another world
