Livin' It

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Yeah its still the same

Can’t you feel the pain

When the needle hits the vein

Ain’t nothing like the real thing

I’ve seen it once before

And oh it’s something else

Good god

Cool breeze come on in

Sunshine come on down

These are the tear drops of the clown

Circus is coming to town

All I’m saying is sometimes I’m more scared of myself

You better

move

I said

move

Runaway

Runaway

Run children

Run for your life

Runaway

Runaway

Run children

Here it comes

I said run

Alright

Yeah I’m on the run

See where I’m coming from

When you see me coming run

Before you see what I’m running from

No time for question asking time is passing by

Alright

You can’t win child

We’ve all tried to

You’ve been lied to

It’s all ready inside you

Either you run right now

Or you best get ready to die

You better

move

I said

move

Runaway

Runaway

Run children

Run for your life

Runaway

Runaway

Run children

Ooh

Here it comes

I Said run

Hurry little children

Run this way

I have got a beast at bay

La la la la la la la

La la la

La la la la la la la

La la la la l a

La la la la l a

Runaway

runaway

Run children

run for your life

runaway

runaway

run children

here it comes

said run

Run - Gnarls Barkley

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Tomorow, Sunday 10th of Januray, the guy writing up those fucked up shitty bloody texts, is going to be eighteen. And boy, i've been waiting for that day for so looooong. And i'm just singin' all day and nights, 'cause i'm FUCKIN CRAZY. Ever since i was little it looked like fun being an adult, but i think im just gretting crazy about, cause do you what that means? I'm legally able to stand up for myself, and that's one thing i'm afraid to, having to go really far just to get that fuckin freedom.

For you people, i'm sorry to say fuck to often, but that's just how i am. Hahaha, bless my own soul..or fuck no .

Because i think i wouldn't regret. HE can say whatever he wants, but i'm going to do anything to stand by myself, without him. He can try to take me back there, to try to still that feeling that he can control me. But he's blind, i'm crazy about this, if he wants me that much back, i'm going to do just like the song: RUN

Because tomorow it's going to be my live, and it's now or never.

Thanks to many of people, i became what i like, i became someone i love, more than anything else. it's selfish, but fuckin good! and i don't give a shit about it. FUckin eighteen baby.

Thanks to my brother, i'm going to do a early little party at the local vodka bar, with the friends i made when i first arrived here. I would just wanted that a lot of people i knew my whole life long to be: Karel, my tutor, my mentor, my brother of soul. Alan, my b est friend , Rebecca, the chick that made me discover what loving a women's body is, Lilian, for why we have to fear the womens, Shana, for being the one nearer to a "strong bond" type right now, Angie, for being like my little sister. Boy... this is going to be such a change, i sure wish you could be here right now. THis week-end is my last one as a Teen. Funny, cause i always considered myself as a punk, a sale gosse in french. NOw, unleash the beast!

That text you sent me Shana, really made me happy. To know that you got yourself a real good time made me smile. Talking for 3 fucking hours and a half with you, Angie, made me feel closer to you again, even thought we talked about shit, at leats for my part.

Now one thing i'm going to do, is to enjoy those fucking wings i always wanted to have, that i gained by comming here. I think i should know how to make love to something inocent without leaving my fingerprints out. But you know what? This wolrd shall have my own trace, by any means to. Cause i hate people who satisfies themselves by having their own lame lives. to live is one thing, to burst your way out is another.

One step that will make me feel truly good, will be in april. Going to see again my good ol' pal Michel, meet again Shana and Morgan. Morgan, you know, we may not be that close, but i do know that we can sure have some good time there .

Right now i'm high, realy. I used to tell myself that smoking by yourself is lame, but sometimes it does make yourself good. I feel... wow, those are the words.

I've already been happy about my life, even thought i know it could be better, and it will be, that;s just how it is.

so, today i just wrote some gibberish, but it felt so good. Posing myself in front of that screen, with what feed my soul, music in other words, a smoke, and just that fucking good feeling.

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Now my brother told me just about the most causal way that he's making a little party for me tomorow, sunday, you know the night in the vodka bar i wrote up. and Boy, my brotehr really is something for me. He's one guy that could be stronger, yet i love him, respects him. we're so different, yet we're connected. He's a guy that deserves succeding in everything he does, even thought he has an awfull powerfull ego, even stronger than mine.

Caetan, my brother, i love you

that's just awesome as he is :)