I wanna feel it

Well yeah, i just wanna feel it.

Tonight i was supposed to do nothing

yet i'm going out.

let's rock the house, will we?

Let's do it like we do.

Power

Everything comes with a price.

Coming to life means 9 months of pain,

Getting to know yourself means time and reflexion,

Freedom means fighting

a Good time means cash,

But Heck, when that bitch wants more, we can't escape from it.

I'm sick of it

sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick .

Fucking sick.

I hate it,

the fact that we all have our own drugs.

Smokes, alcohol, lust, or power.

He chose power.

I took lust.

Lust, smokes, alcohol, freedom

and he wants his power back.

But he already had it

since the beginning.

Money, that's his first power,

but he wants to have a complete control of his blood.

He did the same with the older one.

He failed, but left a good, deep wound, on everyone.

Now he's starting again, on the younger one.

Who suffered enoug for 3 long years.

Where he could only count the time left till he had a little satisfaction.

Summer.

He may be out of his hands reach, but not of his money.

This is disgusting.

How he can enjoy it.

I know i ain't a saint, and i'm far from it:

Manipulating, controlling, lying, trashing, beating.

but there are no such things as karma.

For a moment i could feel that i was following what i always wanted:

Riding my own flow of life, on the road based on my guts.

And I did.

Now i have to wait again.

6 years i've being waiting for him.

Months for her.

weeks for this Bloody sensation of a fucking live performance.

Now i'm going to miss em.

I may miss him too.

But i know that i won't miss her.

But i will in an other way.

And now the other parents is playing with it.

Emotional blackmail.

I just hope that good times gonna come, and fast.

Figures around me are also suffering. And i find that Pathetic.

Sometimes i just wished i could be in face of 'em

And smack them good.

Yet i'm the same.

We're all the fucking same.

And sometimes i wished i didn't had all those needs.

This is clearly seen:

My left hand is destroyed. My eyes are burning. My throat is broken.

and i just keep on hating .

The Situation, the reaction, the choices, myself.

I just want to fuck the whole thing up, radical.

But i won't.

and again, the same, usefull word:

Fuck

_____________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

...Jesus, how fucked up could this get. I just can't fucking get anymore. Bac, bac bac bac, are those the only three simple fucking letters that they can say to me? we're not in the same era, it's quality dropped! and fuck, is till don't knowto do about my fucking life. and Fuck, i hate when people are down for nothing. Thankfully i'moutside their reach, otherwise i would just beat the cra out of them.

Fuck

fuck

FUCK

... Being 18 doesn't change anything.

oh wait!

it does!

IT MAKES THINGS WORSE!

damn it, i'm sick of it.

I deserve it! I was the one being stuck with him for 3 whole years! i don't care if it's my final high school year, it's just the bac! Just because they're afraid i might fail it? I mean, how lame can you be?

I never said it

No, never said

You're suffocating

Suffocating

Fuck it.

i'm waiting...

Montpellier, direction to the "Gare St-Roch"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

So i'm just waiting,

For the end of Febuary,

when this fucked up shit will come to end,

or if a big one will start.

It may be the biggest mistake of my life

yet i just don't want for it to go lie HE planned.

After all, he knows that i just can't.

It's not a choice,

just a sickness,

a real one.

and after that, there will be April. The long awaited time. Man... this is so horrible, this waiting is killing me. It's not always like that, but right here, right now, it is. Feeling this freedom again, just like those famous 13 days.

Small amount of cash,

A simple backpack for my stuffs,

My feet to walk,

My hips to dance,

My ears to blast my brains,

my hands for this need of violence or luxury, or holding a simple cigaret

My eyes to stare at our world's roof.

Skies Of Desire

simple name

Such a way to live

Hedonisme, riding your own flow

Friends

Booze

Music

Sex

and most of all, being away of everything

Just being free,

With him, with them, with her.

With myself.

It's gettin' late but we don"t give a shit about it

All the crazy shit i did tonight

Those will be the best memories

I just wanna let it go for the night

That would be the best ever be for me

All the crazy shit i did tonight

Those will be the best memories

I just wanna let it go for the night

That would be the best ever be for me

hey,hey

yeah,yeah (x5)

All the crazy shit i did tonight

Those will be the best memories

I just wanna let it go for the night

That would be the best ever be for me

All the crazy shit i did tonight

Those will be the best memories

I just wanna let it go for the night

That would be the best ever be for me

hey,hey

yeah,yeah (x5)

It’s getting late but I don’t mind (x8)

hey,hey

yeah,yeah (x5)

Memories- david Guetta n Kid Cudi

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Yesterday was Friday. As usual, i had to go to High school, and survive boredom. the only thing i like in this day, is the morning itself: PE. And we play basket ball. Man i love that sport. I'm not that good in it, but what i love is this dynamic explosion of energy that i feel... when i played street style. We're only two guys for like 5 teams of chicks. And boy, my teams sucks. Whenever we're against the other with team who has the other guys, i'm the only one running. because that guy is a sport monster. yet himself tells me that it's fun laying against me, because i do have lots of endurance and i'm kind of a brute at basket. It's funnier on a one on one.

yet anyways, this day has too much of science. Like always, when we have the 20 break between maths and the 4h of lab doom ( 2h bio lab and 2h physics and chemistry lab ), i went outside alone for a smoke. Thisis the best part of the day.

yet anyways the bell rang, and i went straight home to relax.

Then what happened?

Got in touch with a friend named Tiphaine. We never saw each other much, but we did have a good times together during summer, with alan n stuff. Actualy, we never saw each other after summer until my birthday, and it was real fun seeing him again. So yesterday night, we went outside to the movies. during the way, we talked a lot. You see that guy is straight, but if feels something for my brother. yet, during my party, we banged a chick, and started going steady with her. i'm not going futher into details, but speaking with him made me feel close to him again.

What did we saw? The book of Eli. This movie is good. Nothing special, not boring at all. but god... the images are fucking pretty. I mean, how the made the sky was awesome. if you have to see a movie, go see that one.

Oh well, had nothing in particular to say..; exept maybe i have a girlfriend? not for too long I hope, besides..; she's virgin. let's see how far can i go with her ;)

Skies of Desire

I know, I know for sure

That life is beautiful around the world

I know I know it's you

You say, "Hello" and then I say, "I do"

simple moments of Joy,

can become real moment of pure happiness

___________________________________________________________________

Today? woke up at 6pm, and i did NOTHING out of it.

And we talked about this trip, this escapade that i will realize in April. You, me, Belgium, Bloody Beetroots gig, livin in a studio, how me may enjoy it, while knowing perfectly that we will improvise, how to impress those little students how act like grown ups, while we know that what's the best in life is being young. And, of course, how those nights we began to have for a while will become true.

When those nights, where our thoughts are lost in this tormented air corrupted by our smokes, when the only connection that we have is this sky, or what i named, the "Skies of Desire"

April may be far from now, yet it's better than a year.

let's just hope that it will go on well, and i truly believe that it will be a blast.

Sharing and earning

this i what those nights are for me

because not everybody can become Strong bonds,

not everyone can enjoy simple moments to its max,

because we both admire each other,

because we both enjoy sharing moments

Because we're connected

and i believe in this

so, good night, and let's just wait

From the Fucking psycho Bastard

to a Lil Punkass

____________________________________________________________________

I'm the son of Rage and Love,

Jesus of Suburbia

______________________________________________________________

" How can you do that?

- Oh fuck it! How? Why? What for? When? Whom? Can't you do something else than asking questions?

- This is not possible! How can you survive theses gunshots? How can you manage to kill this army troop? You even brang down a fucking fighter!

- Questiooooooooooooooooooooooooooons for fuck sake, stop!

- How can you want me to stop? I'm the only one that you didn't killed in this bloodshed? How can i understand?

- This is your problem sir, you loose your time asking yourself questions! Don't ask! ACT! Think: STOP THINKING! Just do!DO!

- just by willpower you did this?

- ah! very good question indeed...

-so?

- I don't know how, i just did. Goodbye and say hello to my hands!"

Snow

This song,

it has been such a long time since i last heard it,

and this song is attached to so many memories.

You know, when i first arrived in Montpellier, i was feeling complet.

yet, it's been some time since i miss this feeling. You guys heard me tall a lot about Strong Bonds, how this is a special relationship, how shana became one even though she is the first to become one without living in the same city, how having a strong bond is important to me. For some people it's love, for me it's Strong bonds. Shana is the one right now, and i'm truly happy about this.

yet, it doesn't feels the same.

Actualy, it has never been the same since the first one.

each one was special.

each one taught me something.

each one made me live in a special way.

The first one was really that special,

the first one was my air.

It was about saving the day, not the life.

Futur had no place in our minds.

it was all about living the moment.

This is why, i miss those moments.

I miss where my craziness, my dynamic had it's pair.

Where just two guys,

Two budds

Fucking right

had their time:

"To run, to run away

To find what you believe
And I leave behind
This hurricane of fucking lies"

This is one quote he used to say a lot. he didn't wrote this, it's from green day. but somehow, comming from his mouth, you could feel the true meanings of it.

So this song, Snow, as long as boulevard of broken dreams, and jesus of suburbia, as all tied into my memories with him.

So, let's ride into the machine, and ride our own way.

_________________________________________________________________

Why fucking deny it? You're all pawns. you're all toys. you're all fucking lies. Admit it, you don't have the guts to make something out of yourself. Pathetic! Living to blame those who achieve of making something out of their fucking human corps. Living but not breathing, that's what you're doing. Now, when you see me, run, before i consume you into my road, my own road towards what i aim... yes, fucking run, this is going to be fun to hunt you down

same novel as before